i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
