So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
