First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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