oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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