Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
