Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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