I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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