ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
