Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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