I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
