got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
