We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
last night I used snow as a chaser
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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