Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
