the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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