I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I FOUND THE LEGS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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