Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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