Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
