If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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