I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
