That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He had one of those small greek statue penises
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
