how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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