Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
