we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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