Pappa wants mamma naked
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sarcasm needs its own font
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
