yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
