Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We were destined to go to rehab together
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
