"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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