Little spoons don't ask big questions
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
