then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
