Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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