WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
