he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
