He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
