too bad you live with your parents still
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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