You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
