i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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