Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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