careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
