I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
