True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
