It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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