i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently you make a good broom.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
