from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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