found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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