Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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