girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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