So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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