I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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