You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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