Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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