Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
barbara walters just said penis...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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