Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
