why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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