found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize