Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
