Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
