he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
