I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
